Sunday, May 13, 2012

undeterred

 Wordle#56-Sunday Whirl-05-13-2012 
undeterred  by Teri H Hoover

The summit of her intention
rolled quietly to the valley far below.
Plagued by indigenous, hell-bent demons,  
disguised as a small string of goddess distractions.  
Fit to be tied. The laces set to trap and tangle.

Flags unfurling in a ritual of release,
hang at half-mast.
The elaborated eloquence fills in every sigh.
Elevating the significance, 
scrapping her barefoot soul. 
`
 Prayerful pause - there she finds 
The spirit of light and love-
And cracks a brilliant smile.
Flags fly high to catch the breeze.
No longer lost, but lifted.
  
Undeterred simplicity
the strong, and sacred thread. 





Sunday Whirl Words-Thank your Brenda!
indigenous, significance, goddess, sacred, demons, visit, rituals, summit, elaborated, intention, flags, string 

This time the word from hell was elaborated.I even went so far as to google it - to see it used in other sentences. I came across a piece on sentence clarity (see below) What a lot of  BIG words for what seemed a simple concept. LOL-Thanks for stopping by!

Effects of Elaboration and Relational Distinctiveness in Sentence Memory

33 comments:

  1. Sometimes all it needs is the will to want to succeed to make things happen. You could sense the determination through this. Great use of the words, including, elaborated :)

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    1. Thank you Bren-I did feel like I had to continually heard this piece. I was a bit concerned that it might feel that way. I may have to look at it again with fresh eyes in a few weeks.

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  2. I like how "string" pulled its way through the piece..."goddess distractions / fit to be tied," "the laces set to trap and tangle" and then the sacred thread at the end. Playing with the words pays off. This is a strong write.

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    1. Brenda - I knew I had several "string" references in this piece... but not this many. Thank you of seeing it for me.

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  3. I agree with Brenda on the motif. Love the final stanza.

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    1. Hey Margo- thank you. As I mentioned in a previous comment, I think I need to revisit this piece in a few weeks.

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  4. The last stanza draws the poem together in such a beautiful way! I definitely enjoyed this.

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    1. Mary- that last stanza only came after I put the poem down for awhile. I quite literally had to pause before I could finish.Thank you for your comment.

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  5. Lovely, Teri. I especially like the third stanza.

    Happy Mother's Day!

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    1. Thank you Laurie- Happy Mother's Day to you as well.

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  6. really like 'barefoot soul' and the last stanza

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    1. Thanks Mark, that barefoot soul felt good to me too.

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  7. Prayerful pause - there she finds
    The spirit of light and love-
    And cracks a brilliant smile.


    I love this part!!! So bright and optimistic feeling!!

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    1. Hannah - a warm welcome to my writing space. Thank you for your energy and your comment, I look forward to seeing your wordle!

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  8. Help me, please! Is she "scrapping her barefoot soul" or "scraping"? If what you have written is what you mean, then I have some more pondering to do!

    Whirling Haiku and Senryu

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    1. MMT- Well there is that, scrapping or scraping? Well I was scraping but now I am not so sure. We are now going to ponder together. I am thinking about leaving this misspelling for a while longer...

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  9. When I read this I see the memory of flags being raised at Scout Camp by my son. While on the whole each boy wore his uniform...the foot wear was indeed a tangle of laces...some untied, most with that tip end thingy frayed - yet there they were 'No longer lost, but lifted' for the cause of becoming men. Very nice write.

    My offering is here:
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/05/matter-of-interpretation-sw-wordle-56.html

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    1. Jules - I just love how your mind stretches out in recollections. I especially like the "tip end thingy frayed". Thanks as always for your comments.

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  10. Well wordled: I love the prayerful pause.

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    1. Thank you Viv- The "prayerful pause" is my "word" for the year. Little by little, I am able to remember and bring it forward. I have also incorporated it into a few of my writing pieces- like this one.

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  11. "Elevating the significance,
    scrapping her barefoot soul."
    What wonderful phrasing, Teri.
    Nicely done.

    Pamela

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    1. Pamela - that means a lot from you. I admire your writing for its consistent and creative phrasing.

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  12. Thank- you for coming by everyone. It has been a busy mothers day, everyone is gone now and the house is kind of cleaned up. So it is time to read everyone's wordles. See you at your place soon.

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  13. I like the way that string feels woven through this pieces, as if it's leading the reader in and out of the stanzas.

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  14. I am very pleased this excellent poem.

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  15. Wow - what a beautifully crafted wordle - Terri ... it's utterly seamless; very nicely done - thanks for dropping by my blog already and commenting, I appreciate it

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    1. Thank you Sharon-your comment is helpful - it is hard to see ones own writing. Like I said in other comments, I feel the need to let this writing rest and come back to it in a while.

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  16. Beautifully structured. I love the movement you achieve from stanza to stanza. And that last stanza - brilliant! I read it, and had to immediately go back and read the poem again. Thank you for "Undeterred simplicity".

    Richard

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    1. Richard- I admire how your poems have such a way of flowing- so your comment means a lot to me.

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  17. Teri, Please go to this link for a surprise...
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/05/liebster-blog-nominations-with.html

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  18. what a wonderful pattern of words that trip off the tongue with such ease
    evocative and inspiring
    thank you!

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  19. No longer lost, but lifted.
    Teri beautiful composition concept development.

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  20. i really like:

    Plagued by indigenous, hell-bent demons,

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Comments are welcome and appreciated, thanks so much for stopping by.