Sunday, March 04, 2012

Selective Hearing



Unaware of the coatless, woolly, shadow
they cast upon the kitchen--
Fullness, admonished White Metal Strainer
for carelessly blowing out the pilot light.
Their daughter, Toaster, resigned to the bickering
returned to her warm setting, 
preferring not to hear.



Process Notes- The first line just rolled out. I was a bit wary of the word daughter and decided to steer around anything too deep.  Upon completing this wordle, it came to mind that I would often personify inanimate objects when my kids were small- to divert their attention from something that was stressful.  I think that is kind of what I did here.

Also, I am quite unsure of the punctuation, breaks and use of capitalization... I am open to comments.

Have a GREAT wordle everyone!


the words
kitchen, unaware,coatless, woolly,shadow,
fullness,admonish,white, metal,
 daughter,  returned, prefers, 

13 comments:

  1. Bravo! This is so clever! A great use of the wordle words in this short gem!

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  2. Very imaginative. Well done. My guess is you don't need the capital F for fullness - but at the end of the day these things are only a matter of style and individual choice and what you decide is correct for you.

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  3. Teri- I think this is great, thought-provoking... love the personification. The line breaks look fine to me. I'm not real sure there needs to be a comma after fullness and setting.

    http://lkharris-kolp.blogspot.com/2012/03/imagination-catching-wind.html

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  4. I like it a great deal, Teri. You got me imagining life in my kitchen, whereas before... who knew? There's more to it under the surface. Excellent write.

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  5. Great job! The words flowed so well in such a short piece that I couldn't believe you'd used all 12! Very nice and I do love the personification!

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  6. Love it, Teri. As for punctuation,I would change this a tad:

    "the kitchen-
    Fullness, admonished White Metal Strainer"

    the kitchen:
    fullness, admonished white metal strainer

    (or I would put an em-dash after kitchen)

    Pamela

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    Replies
    1. Pamela - that is the way I had it initially. It figures I would go and change it. I changed it because I had made "fullness" and "white metal strainer" into proper names. I always was at a loss when it came to punctuation and such. I wonder what an em-dash is. Time to google that.

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  7. I always enjoy reading what you do with the wordle, Teri. I'm with the Toaster...

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  8. Cool idea. I like it.
    Not much I'd change, but if you are planning to work on it more, you might play around with the beginning, just see how it works if you jump right in with your first character in a simple sentence.

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  9. A very interesting, unexpected turn, enjoyed it!

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  10. Oh Barbara - I like that idea! Thanks for stopping by.

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  11. I love the way you have put this together! That kitchen scene is so - alive! :-)

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Comments are welcome and appreciated, thanks so much for stopping by.