Monday, February 06, 2012

resolve

 resolve  by Teri H Hoover



Process notes- the words rose to the surface after a hospital visit with an elderly family member- probably not an easy read.



`
A metallic and petulant latch;
The scar fuses into the narrative of the bravado of his narrow escapes.
Locking those he loves, into the landscape of  his determination. 
Slowly, through the months he slips away,
embattled into exile, his body lies in ruins.
The tattered life vest of firm resolve, dulls into a grey leaden sheath. 
Filled with the weight of the well lived facade.
Those firm eyes, now dart and recede, below the surface
of the doctors whispered words.
The words swirl,billow and settle into the room,
like black ink in a cup of water.  
Within moments he bobs to the surface, mustering his dwindling reserves, a dubious rebellion.
Barking out demands and love, that fall muffled behind the oxygen mask.
The staccato marks of his heart,
small and erratic on the monitor screen.








`words- dubious, staccato, petulant, metallic, exile, rebellion, billows, latch, dart, fuses,scar,ruins

11 comments:

  1. Quite a powerful write, Teri. That ending really got me. Well done.

    Pamela

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  2. I found this very moving and wonderfully written...

    "Those firm eyes, now dart and recede,
    below the surface of the doctors whispered words.
    The words swirl and billow into the room, like black ink in a cup of water."

    and...

    "The staccato marks of his heart, small and erratic on the monitor screen."

    So poignant but really nicely done.

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  3. This is poignant and touching, Teri. I have always been fascinated by the written word, both prose and poetry. Being old (nearly 78) my version of poetry rhymes; but a recent poetry workshop motivated me to try free verse. I think it may grow on me. This one of yours is beautifully written!

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  4. This is poignant and touching, Teri. I have always been fascinated by the written word, both prose and poetry. Being old (nearly 78) my version of poetry rhymes; but a recent poetry workshop motivated me to try free verse. I think it may grow on me. This one of yours is beautifully written!

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  5. very powerful and vivid imagery in here. I also found it very moving!

    Nice to meet you too:)

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  6. you actually write a STORY USING THE WORDLE.

    LOVE IT.

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  7. This was a hard read in its way, but a tremendously effective response to the Wordle. So sorry your loved one is suffering so. Perhaps the healing will come soon, one way or the other. A great deal of sensitivity in this piece, despite the strong terminology. Very good. Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/emotional-dyslexic/

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  8. Sad and as you say, hard to read but a wonderful drawn image.

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  9. I'm working my way to finding things... This is powerful. Hugs ~J

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  10. "the landscape of his determination"

    Sometimes that is the only landscape left to us, especially when we near the end...

    Whirling Haiku and Senryu

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  11. So much of this to love, despite the poignancy of the event. You have a beautifully delineated scene. I see it as clearly as a painting, or a photograph :-) The character of the elderly relative is as vivid as if I were watching the scene on television.I love so many lines -- your imagery is strong -- but my favourite: 'The staccato marks of his heart, small and erratic on the monitor screen'.

    Brava!

    margo

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Comments are welcome and appreciated, thanks so much for stopping by.